What straight men seek from transsexual women

Ladyboys, what straight men search from transsexual women

So many men are attracted to Ladyboys, but,  what straight men actually search from transsexual women then? In the heterosexual imagination, the man charmed by transgender women ( and trans women), vulgarly called with male pronoun ladyboy or shemale. Some people believe, is a person that doesn’t have the courage to live as gay.

We are all entitled to our opinions, but being myself a trans lover, I perfectly know who I AM and WHAT I LIKE!

I never fell in love with a man, nor experienced attraction to any masculine male despite the fact that I feel attracted to trans women. If you wish to investigate further this matter, here is my take on Why men attracted to trans women are not gay.

Have you been labelled by someone a such?

The following notions will debunk in part the above statement (or stereotype if you will) and clarify the matter.

Gay or Homosexual are not Attracted to Transgender

Gay, Crossdresser

It is simple to make clear, though, that gay men are NOT attracted to transgender women. I have seen stories ending in the gay environment because one of the two, obviously physically man, all in all, was mentally feminine, had “straight” ( heterosexual ) expectations from the relationship, and this had blocked the gay mate.

In recent years have appeared a series of neologisms to define men attracted to transgender and transwomen. Such as

  • Trans-oriented men
  • Trans lover
  • Pansexual

The latter is based on sociological and psychological researches.

Are you a Pansexual?

Made clear then, that a man attracted to a transgender woman (intended as a trans woman, ladyboy, shemale, Ts etc. who are into sex work like porn or prostitution), is not gay, what it is? ( Admitting that the point is understanding what it is )

Paradoxically, men attracted by the voluptuous (curvaceous) femininity of transsexual prostitutes, probably South American Shemale or South-East Asian Ladyboy and then tied on archaic womanliness model. Tough even petite ladyboys yet curvaceous is more heterosexual than heterosexuals.

It is like he doesn’t give up on the idea of emancipated Western women and is less close to the stereotype of womanliness. Typical in the 50 years past century (but yet present in third world country cultures), and searching through some kind of transsexualism.

Tough, there is data if the motivation had to be only this, these “nostalgic straight male chauvinist” (sexist) are likely looking at the third world women prostitutes, a thing that happens, but in some cases, there is refuse whether from biological woman prostitute whether ladyboy post-op. The straight man has then, in that case, some anal passive fantasies.

Let’s try for a moment to don’t confuse anal physiologic pleasure, also passive, with homosexuality.

In many young couples, it’s in vogue using the strap-on, where the woman penetrates her mate with a rubber penis, sometimes using a double one (penetrating herself too). But without arriving at similar practices, many women, since ever, have mates that love anal stimulation through fingers ( fingering ) during oral sex and not only.

Do NOT Confuse Anal sex with HomosexualityOther straight men, however, caused by the mental connection between homosexuality and anal pleasure, reject completely whichever practice of ” role inversion ” ( switch, or versatile sexual role ) often giving motivation of “ not being gay “, proof that’s a choice born by prejudice.

Probably married straight men looking for prostitution market have not an open-minded mate. That probably could see latent (hidden) homosexuality on her mate asking these practices, I guess or rather being penetrated by a gay man, prefer getting penetrated by “somebody” that reminds him the woman most.

If we consider extending the matter to ladyboy’s partners, this would fall into the thorny debate about sexual orientation and its coherence with the body and mind of the so-called object of desire.

Different People, Different Mentalities

I’ve known ladyboys’ men partners, even not post-op (without sex change ), that I define heterosexual because attracted by persons mentally women, even ” more women ” than a biological one.

I’ve got to know an activist who loved for years a transsexual woman MTF (male to female) and now yet,  define himself straight without shame, and he does activism defending transgender rights.

Also, a woman attracted by transsexual FTM ( female to male), even not in transition ( HRT, hormonal replacement therapy ), I consider her heterosexual. As I would consider lesbian a woman attracted to ladyboys or gay a man attracted to FTM, whether more or less in transition.

These talks are however relative, because sexual orientation is ” fluid “, and there are different “tolerance” grades of reality shape and partner mind.

But if I would address a person who has a specific attraction for transgender women, I’d say in pansexuality we find a more appropriate definition.

Ladyboys, what straight men search from transsexual women?

I’ve previously compiled a list of nine practical reasons why men are attracted to transgender women and trans women (the latter are undergoing sex change therapy and surgeries, transsexuals). Indeed, there could be other reasons for a man to shift the interest from genetic women to transgender ladies.

Transgender Carmen Carrera and Husband - Wedding Moment

Transgender Carmen Carrera and Husband – Wedding Moment

For example, one may have had a series of negative outcomes with genetic females like one or more divorces, being catfished, etc. And so they turn their hopes into trans women for a better partner to share their life with. Others may have doubts about their sexuality, and seek answers. Seeking a psychological connection. Trans women may relate better with other males than females, because, on a genetic level, they have the same male brain and are born biologically as males, and often raised as boys in the early stages of their life.

There is collective thinking towards men who are not new to dating ladyboys, which refers to transwomen as “the best of both worlds”, the combination of female and male. Because of these unique traits and features in transgender people, some men perceive transsexuals as the ultimate sex bomb. 

One last example, sexually speaking

To sum up, every case is subjective and different. There is no standard, social level, personal culture or religion that makes a man turn into a trans lover. What trans-oriented men have in common, is courage and an open mind to engage with trans women, due to the social stigmas affecting our society about the LGBT community.

Share your thoughts, leave a comment

Are you a man? What do you think about these observations? Are you a ladyboy? What can you tell about your experiences with men? Leave your comment!

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Posted in Sexual orientation and tagged .

Andrea Del Riva, Italian man, 39 years, digital nomad, trans oriented man. I stand for transgender rights. Besides, I love Asia and my sweet ladyboy girlfriend. This blog is dedicated to who love to date ladyboys and travels in Asia. Im the author of this website, and others related to transsexual dating. You can find more about me on My Transsexual Girlfriend . I also collaborate with: Transsexual Date Online project.


  1. Ick…I want a man to treat me like the LADY I am!! There is a reason the LADY is in front of the BOY in LADYBOY! I’m not sticking my penis into any guy, I want them to put it in me! 😛

    • Thanks for sharing 🙂
      Though, there are many different ways that a man can treat a woman. There is a saying: “there are man who take your hand, and man who “f*** you”.

      Related to intimacy, there are different tastes and expectation in a couple. Usually trans women awaiting to undergo sex change seurgery, SRS, doesn’t want a versatile relationsip. I’ve explained better myself and this matter on the new site i’m writing. Here you can understand better the different sexual roles and intimacy depending your condition. Follow this link to see the related topic: Ladyboys pre-op post-op non-op

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